


Steve Needs Better Coping Mechanisms

by Clintbxrton, seekeronthepath



Series: Omegle: Surprisingly Awesome [12]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Depression, Hurt Steve, M/M, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Texting, in a slightly meddling way, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 21:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10862760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clintbxrton/pseuds/Clintbxrton, https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekeronthepath/pseuds/seekeronthepath
Summary: When Steve tries to give Clint a shovel talk, he and Bucky realise that Steve hasn’t been doing so well lately. Bucky turns to Sam for help getting Steve to recognise that something’s wrong.





	Steve Needs Better Coping Mechanisms

Clint, a word? SR

 

Sure, what's up? - CB

 

Well, it's about Bucky. He's been spending a lot of time with you, hasn't he? SR

 

Yeah, we've been hanging out - CB

That a problem, Cap? - CB

 

No, but I worry about him. He hasn't been back long and things are still new. I don't want you misjudging his intentions or you getting hurt. SR

 

What do you mean? - CB

Shit, Rogers, I know what it looks like when someone's been through some shit - CB

 

I mean he told me you kissed him, genius. SR

 

And? - CB

 

And he's not ready for stuff like that. He needs more time to know himself before he gets into something. Especially something that was wrong last time he was awake and himself. SR

I don't want either of you getting hurt. SR

 

Did he say that? - CB

Or is this you deciding what you think is best for him? - CB

 

He's my best friend. I know what he needs. SR

 

That's bullshit - CB

I'm going to do you a favour and /not/ tell James you said that - CB

 

I just don't want anyone getting hurt here. SR

 

I'm a big boy, Cap. If James wants me to back off, I'll back off - CB

But I'm not going to pretend I'm not interested just because you think a Big Gay Panic is gonna tip him over the edge - CB

 

How serious are you about him? SR

 

That's a conversation for me to have with him, not with you - CB

 

I need to know. SR

 

No, you want to - CB

You're not his keeper, Steve - SR

You want him to learn to be a person again? You've got to start letting him make choices, and, yes, that includes mistakes - CB

You can't control his entire life just because you want it to be a smooth road - CB

 

He deserves a smooth road. SR

 

Sure he does - CB

And I'm not planning on making myself a tripwire - CB

 

Good. SR

 

Just...what he needs is agency, not easiness - CB

Stop meddling so much, okay? - CB

He's can't get better unless you let him - CB

 

[slight delay] If you hurt him... SR

 

Yeah, I know, death and destruction, dishonour on me and my cow, all that jazz - CB

You're not his only friend in the world anymore, Steve - CB

 

Yeah... I know that. SR

If it's worth anything, this isn't personal. SR

 

I know - CB

You just don't know how not to be an idiot about him - CB

 

Right... SR

 

Go talk to Sam. Maybe he can help you find a new hobby now James is improving - CB

 

Bucky is my friend, not a hobby. SR

 

Micromanaging his life is a hobby - CB

 

Just be good to him. SR

He deserves to be happy. SR

 

I'll do my best - CB

 

\-----

 

So, about that kiss yesterday... - CB

Steve got all protective at me about it, so I figured I'd better check in - CB

Was it a) definitely a good thing, b) definitely a bad thing, or c) somewhere in the middle? - CB

 

I'll go with option A. JBB

Sorry for the third degree. I shouldn't have said anything. JBB

 

Hey, you can tell your friends about me anytime - CB

Steve's just got some issues right now - CB

I'm glad to hear we're all good - CB

 

I know he does. He worries too much. JBB

We're good. JBB

But just so I know, was it A, B, or C for you? JBB

 

A, or I wouldn't have done it in the first place - CB

You don't need me being confused all over you about feelings and shit - CB

 

Good. So we're on the same page. JBB

 

And, just to confirm, you're not bothered that I'm a guy? - CB

 

No. It's not illegal anymore, right? JBB

 

Nope. I mean, not here, and not in most places I plan to be for more than a week or two - CB

 

Good. Not that it would have changed anything other than how public we could be. JBB

 

Yeah, I figured that one was just Steve projecting - CB

You didn't seem too fussed - CB

 

Wouldn't have been my first criminal activity. JBB

 

[delay] I really need to stop thinking about Steve - CB

 

Yeah, you do. He's not a part of this. JBB

 

He's fucked up, you know - CB

Doesn't look like nearly as much of a hot mess, but he is - CB

 

I'm gonna give you a chance to explain that before I overreact. JBB

 

Look, I've seen plenty of people with trauma. I've /been/ people with trauma - CB

And there's people who cope, and people who bury it, and people who drown in it - CB

Steve's running out of shit to bury his trauma in - CB

 

You think I should spend more time with him? I have been neglecting him a little... JBB

 

Maybe. He's kinda using obsessing about you as a coping mechanism, though - CB

 

I'll talk to him. He might be more willing to listen to me. JBB

 

Just...I've never seen him grieve. I've never seen him scared. And I know he and I aren't the closest, but to me that says he's not letting himself feel any of that shit, and that's not good - CB

 

It isn't. At all. I'm pretty sure he crashed that plane because he was grieving... I don't want him feeling like he can't cope again. JBB 

 

Yeah. I thought of that - CB

He needs a dog - CB

 

A dog… You think that’ll help? In the long run, I mean. JBB

 

Dogs are great - CB

They love you, they love your attention, they need regular exercising, and they don't give a shit about what you did - CB

You got food? You're dog's new best friend - CB

 

Sounds to me like you really want a dog yourself. JBB 

But maybe you're right. Owning a dog would give Steve someone else to care about. JBB 

 

I've had dogs before, I'll have one again - CB

You should ask Sam about therapy dogs and shit - CB

 

I will. Thank you. JBB

[slight delay] Do you think I need one? JBB

 

Honestly? Not really - CB

Like, dogs are always freaking awesome, but you've kinda figured out some coping mechanisms and shit, you know? - CB

You get setbacks and stuff, and it's not easy, but you're getting better - CB

Whereas Steve doesn't seem to even notice he's /in/ a hole - CB

 

Kissing you could be my new coping mechanism. JBB

Seriously though, having you around helps. JBB

Having a friend. Not that Steve isn’t great but he’s too much. JBB

I’ll talk to Sam. Maybe take Steve to the pound so he can see the rescues too. I think he’d like a rescue. JBB

 

Sounds like a good idea to me - CB

I'm glad I can help - CB

 

Me too. JBB

It doesn’t bother you, does it? Me being around so much? JBB

 

Not at all - CB

If the kissing didn't make it clear, I like spending time with you - CB

 

Sorry. Paranoia, you know? JBB

I like spending time with you too. JBB

 

Yeah, I get it. I don't mind telling you - CB

 

Thank you. I appreciate it. JBB

 

\-----

 

Hey, you got a minute? It’s about Steve. JBB

And do you know anything about therapy dogs? JBB

 

Sure, I can talk - SW

And yeah, they come up at work quite a bit. What do you want to know? - SW

 

Do you think Steve needs one? JBB

 

[delay] Okay, so here's the thing about therapy dogs, emotional support dogs, and service dogs. The official word is that there hasn't been any conclusive research to show that they help with PTSD, so they shouldn't be seen as a replacement for actual treatment. In my experience, having an emotionally responsive pet of any kind can help a vet with some of the emotional shit they go through, mainly because they create a safe space to have emotions in, and they encourage you to get out of your head, and especially with dogs, out of the house - SW

As far as whether Steve needs one...how 'bout you tell me what's been going on? - SW

 

Then by that definition, I think Steve needs one. He needs to get out of his head. He’s been bottling things up way too much, projecting his insecurities onto me and the stuff I’m doing. He doesn’t see the progress I’m making because taking care of me is his only hobby JBB

 

What sort of things are we talking about here? - SW

 

Like telling Clint I’m too fragile for a relationship. JBB

He micromanages everything I do. And I’m not saying he can’t, if it’s helping him but I don’t think it is. JBB

 

You're right to be concerned, and it's appropriate for you to try and set these boundaries - SW

You've been doing well, and Clint's a decent guy who knows what he's getting into. Any relationship carries risk of hurting each other, but I don't think you're likely to /damage/ each other - SW

How is Clint reacting to all this? - SW

 

I know what I’m doing. I mean, it’s not like we’ve really talked about it, it was one kiss. But I’m fine. JBB

He’s worried about Steve too. The dog was his idea. JBB

 

Well, if Steve wants a dog, I think it's likely to be a good thing for him - SW

I'll see if I can catch up with him and have a chat sometime soon - SW

 

Good. I’ll see if he wants a dog then. We can go to the pound together. JBB

Thank you. He’s not coping. He’ll tell you he’s fine but he isn’t. JBB

 

Unfortunately, sometimes there's nothing you can do until someone's ready to help themself - SW

 

He needs help… Someone has to try to get through to him. JBB

 

I'll do what I can - SW

He's my friend too - SW

 

I know he is. JBB

That’s why I’m talking to you. I trust you to care about him. JBB

 

I appreciate that - SW

 

Good. I think you’re good for him. JBB

 

Thanks - SW

 

\-----

 

So Bucky just texted me and said we need to talk. Is everything okay? SR 

 

Well, I'm doing fine, but he seems a little worried about you - SW

 

Why would he be worried about me? SR 

 

Friends worry about each other, it's a thing they do - SW

 

Right, I get that. But I still don't think he has a reason to worry about me. I'm fine. SR 

 

Yeah? Cool - SW

So what's new in the life of Steve Rogers? - SW

 

Nothing much. Nothing at all, really SR

 

Same old, same old, huh? - SW

Do you still go running in the mornings? - SW

 

Sometimes, yeah. Not as often as I used to since Bucky came back. SR 

 

That's a shame - SW

He's not a fan of running? - SW

 

I don't know, actually. I never asked. SR 

 

Why not? - SW

He might even be able to keep up with you - SW

 

Yeah, he probably could. SR 

He's probably busy though SR 

 

You won't know until you ask - SW

Friendship doesn't just go one way, you know. You're allowed to ask him to spend time with you - SW

 

Yeah, I know that. SR 

He just seems a whole lot happier around other people lately. SR 

 

What do you mean? - SW

 

I mean, it's not a bad thing. Him being social and all. He hangs out with Clint a lot SR 

 

And who do you hang out with? - SW

 

Sometimes Nat. SR 

Tony if he's in a decent mood. SR 

Usually just myself though. SR 

 

Sounds pretty lonely - SW

 

I guess. Never really thought about it. SR 

 

You need something to do with your time, man - SW

 

Yeah, I guess you're probably right. SR 

 

You know what you should do? - SW

You should go see if there's a shelter around that needs somewhere to walk their dogs. There's never enough time to give the really boisterous ones a good workout - SW

 

You think? Sure, I guess I can look that up. SR 

 

It'll give you some enthusiastic running buddies - SW

 

Yeah... I like the sound of that. SR 

 

Well, you send me pictures, okay? - SW

A man never has too many pictures of shelter dogs on a bad day -SW

 

Well, you could come with me if you'd like? SR 

 

Next time I'm in town, sure, but there's no need to wait on me - SW

 

Right, yeah... SR 

Any plans of coming over soon? SR 

 

How about I come up for the Labor Day weekend? I don't really want to take any leave unless I have to right now, and you're a bit far for a two day trip, but with three days, I could come visit - SW

 

Yeah, okay. That makes sense. SR 

 

So, I'll see you then, and you can take me to the shelter - SW

Sound like a deal? - SW

 

Sounds like a deal. I miss hanging out with you. SR 

 

Yeah? You been missing my excellent conversation and scintillating wit? - SW

 

Missed your massive ego for sure. SR 

 

Don't you live with Tony Stark? - SW

I'm pretty sure he's got me beat in the ego department - SW

 

Very true but I enjoy your flair SR 

 

See, people I talk to don't realise that you can talk shit as well as the next guy - SW

 

Better. SR 

It's a national secret though. SR 

 

Is that how it is? - SW

 

It is how it is. SR 

Means I'm comfortable around you. SR 

 

I'm glad - SW

Seriously, Steve, are you doing okay? - SW

 

I'm fine. I said I was fine. Why wouldn't I be? SR 

 

Because you're lonely and bored? - SW

 

I guess... SR 

 

Look, maybe you /are/ fine. And maybe you're not. And that's okay, alright? - SW

But there's something I'd like you to think about: 'fine' isn't really an emotion. It's a ranking, of whether or not you can still get on with things. You can be sad, but fine. Or frustrated, but fine - SW

How are you actually /feeling/, Steve? - SW

 

Didn't realise I was being analysed here SR 

Is numb a feeling? SR

 

Sure, we can call it a feeling - SW

It's not a great feeling to be having, but it is one - SW

 

Right then, there's your answer. SR 

With some sad, I guess SR 

 

Not a great feeling to be having, huh - SW

 

I guess not... SR 

 

You got anything that changes that feeling for you? - SW

 

I guess when I'm with Bucky I get distracted from it SR 

 

[delay] Steve, I'm not your therapist, and I won't do that for you, but I am your friend, so I'm going to give you some advice. Are you willing to listen? - SW

 

Why do I feel like I’m not going to like this? SR

Fine. Yeah, I’ll listen. SR

 

The way you're feeling right now? That's not good. That's your brain telling you "I'm tired and hurt and I've done too much and I need a break". And I know you love to stubborn your way through things, but stubbornness won't solve this one - SW

It's probably hard for you right now to picture how to get from where you are to a place where you're happy and engaged and enjoying yourself, but I promise you, there /is/ a road, and you /can/ get there - SW

Part of getting on that road is probably going to involve talking to a professional. I can help you find that person, or you can do it, or you can ask someone else to help you if you want. But you're ticking all the boxes for some pretty impressive depression right now, and that worries me. You need help, and there's no shame in getting it. Got that? - SW

 

I’m not depressed, Sam. I just don’t have anything to focus on right now, that’s all. And all my friends are either on missions or are too busy falling in love with each other. Or Tony. I know there’s no shame in getting help, I’m saying I don’t need it. SR

 

You're not going out as much. You're not spending as much time with friends - and yes, they're busy, but you admitted you didn't even ask if Bucky wanted to run with you. You're avoiding things you normally enjoy. You're sad, you're numb - SW

Let me predict some things for you - SW

You've been sleeping poorly - not just the nightmare thing, but having difficulty falling asleep, and then not wanting to get out of bed when you wake up. When you /do/ get up, you feel tired for no reason. Cooking meals, showering, hanging out with people, it all seems like a lot of work. Sometimes you forget to eat for hours, and other times, you have to make yourself get through the food you know you need - SW

 

Yeah, well, he’s busy with Clint now anyway. And I’m gonna try the dog thing. I’ll have plenty of running partners soon, right? SR

I don’t even want to respond to that… SR

 

I know you don't. But am I wrong? - SW

 

No, you’re not. Alright? SR

 

You're depressed, Steve. Or experiencing depressive symptoms, anyway. It's not a fault of yours, or a failure, or something to be ashamed of. It's just an illness that needs treating - SW

 

[slight delay] I guess you can find me someone to talk to… if you think it’ll help. SR

 

I think it will. Give it an honest try, okay? - SW

And if you need me, call me. I don't care when or why - SW

 

Yeah, I will. And I’ll see you soon, right? It’s not so far away… SR

 

I'll see you soon - SW

Take care of yourself - SW

 

Yeah, I will. Dogs and therapy SR

 

And friends - SW

Dogs and therapy and friends - SW

 

Yeah, friends. SR

 

Ask for hugs sometimes. Or just company - SW

It helps, having people around - SW

 

Something tells me no one here is a particularly big hugger, Sam. SR

 

Try asking - SW

 

Yeah, sure, and it’s really gonna help me when they say no. SR

 

Start with Bucky. Maybe ask some of the others in advance if they'd be willing to hug you on a shitty day. Or sit close by on the couch while you watch a movie. They've all been through tough times, they know how it is - SW

 

Fine. I'll try. I'll ask Bucky. SR 

 

Thanks, man - SW

 

Yeah, sure. See you when you can come down here. SR 

 

See you - SW

 

\-----

 

Heads up - Steve might need to be more tactile right now; please don't turn him away - SW

 

Tactile? Like hugs and stuff? We used to share a bed, I don't have a problem with that. JBB 

 

Yeah, exactly that - SW

There's shit I won't tell you because it's private, but essentially, you weren't wrong to be worried, I've tried to nudge Steve in the direction of some things that'll help, and I'll be coming to visit for Labor Day weekend - SW

 

Thank you for talking to him. I guess he needed you to get through to him. He'll get better, won't he? Be happy again? JBB 

 

He can. But it probably won't be quick - SW

 

I know that JBB 

 

There are things you can do to help him, even without me telling you details - SW

But don't feel like you're obligated, okay? - SW

 

Like what? JBB

He's my best friend, I'll do anything to help him. JBB 

 

You know how, when you're sick, sometimes you can't get up the energy to do things, even though you know you'd feel better for it? - SW

 

Yeah? Well, no, I don't remember ever being sick... But I get your meaning. You want me to try and encourage him to do stuff? JBB 

 

Make it a little easier for him to get started on things, if you can -SW

If you're cooking for yourself, ask if he wants any. If you're going to hang out with Natasha, invite him along. That kind of thing -SW

 

I can do that. JBB 

 

Basically the four parts of baseline taking care of yourself are a sleep, food, exercise, and human contact - SW

If you can make it easier for him to get those four things with some kind of regularity, that's going to help a lot -SW

 

I'll get him back into a routine. Thanks for this, Sam. All of it. JBB 

 

Anytime, man - SW

He's my friend too - SW

 

Yeah, I'm just real glad he has you. JBB 

 

Thanks -SW

 

Welcome. JBB 

 

\-----

 

Thinking about hitting the gym. You down? JBB 

 

I'm halfway through a movie right now - SR

Maybe later - SR

 

Oh yeah? What movie? JBB 

 

Oh, it's not that interesting. Just seemed like I should watch it - SR

 

Well, if it's so uninteresting you can't tell me what it's called, how about you turn it off and come hang out? JBB 

 

[delay] Fine - SR

 

Thank you. See you in the gym. JBB 

**Author's Note:**

> We hope you enjoyed reading, and we look forward to your comments!


End file.
